When should you tell your kids the truth about Santa Claus?
Santa vs. No Santa
Back when we were expecting our first seven years ago, I remember this great debate already taking place. The Christmas season was upon us and my husband and I looked at each other and discussed when we should tell our child the truth about Santa- who actually funds all those gifts, and why Amazon keeps piling packages on our front porch every December.
We quickly realized we were in opposite camps.
I wanted to have our children believe Santa is real for as long as possible. And my husband from the get-go did not.
Bringing up children to believe in Santa, I feel, gives them a sense of hope. The hope is that things can happen if you believe in it enough.
I have also found it a useful tool to leverage when the kids are acting up. "Santa is always watching." "You need to behave so you're on the nice list."
If you're a Christian like me, you know we have a bigger reason to celebrate the season. However, allowing Santa Claus to be part of the season adds an extra element of magic and fun during this time of year.
Other parents may side with my husband. I know quite a few who never had their child believe in Santa. They raised them from the beginning to know the gifts were bought from them and their family. And Santa Claus is just a fictional character.
Some of the reasons I've heard for this are that they don't want their children to be teased later on in school, or that they want their kids to know they worked hard to provide them with special gifts during the Holidays. I can understand and respect that. Some of these reasons were the ones my husband listed during our debates.
Well, I won... for now.
Three kids later, all of them, for the time being, are into the hype of the Christmas season. To them, the man in the red suit does exist!
So now the question looms of when to tell them the truth.
When should you reveal Santa Claus's true identity?
As I mentioned, I do want them to enjoy the Santa hype for as long as possible. However, I know there will come a time when the truth needs to come out. Childhood innocence and the belief in Santa Claus will have to come to an end. But when?
I don't want them to get teased or bullied when they are older. But I don't want to be the one to break their hearts.
Maybe I should let them find out on their own through classmates. I think I was in fourth or fifth grade when I started hearing rumors that the big man might not be real. I didn't want to believe it. But it did sow the seed of doubt in me.
My mother was the one who confirmed that truth when I was about ten. I was upset, as I'm sure many children are. But I think I had already pieced it together by then between the comments made at school and all the shopping bags I would find hidden in the closets around the house.
A part of me kind of wants to tell them when they are in third or fourth grade to get ahead of their classmates- the ones with the big mouths.
As I mentioned, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but I kind of want to be the one to break it to them because I know them. I would most likely be able to let them know gently so they won't have to be teased by peers for not knowing.
If they do figure it out or are told before most of their friends know, I would highly emphasize they do not tell their classmates. And especially to not tease anyone about it. Just because others may not know Santa is not real yet, doesn't mean it's their news to tell. I don't want them crushing another kid's dreams and beliefs.
Well, we haven't crossed that bridge yet. So we'll see what happens.
So where do you stand?
Last year when I first shared this article, some of my friends chimed in with beautiful comments.
When the time came to have that conversation with their kids or they had to console them about the news, they informed them that they were now a part of the big secret. It was now their duty to share in helping the magic of the season continue.
One person mentioned to their kid that they now took on the "Honorary Santa" title for their younger siblings and relatives.
I think these were all wonderful examples of how to move on with grace.
It also emphasizes and further teaches the season of giving in our kids.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Comments