And Why This Trendy Term "Gentle Parenting" Should Stay
Language, lingo, slang- words seem to always evolve with each new generation. I'm only in my 30s, but it seems like every time I start getting the hang of new terms that are supposed to be the fad, even trendier ones pop up right behind it. I can never catch up.
However one recent term, as it relates to parenting, I do seem to have well in my vocabulary. "Gentle Parenting". I wasn't initially sure what it was. Like "Helicopter Parent" I had to look it up to make sure it wasn't another insult. And to my pleasant surprise, it's not.
Gentle parenting is an overall approach some parents take in raising their child(ren).
According to a more in-depth article posted by Renee Plant on VeryWell Family just four days ago,
Gentle parenting is an evidence-based approach to raising happy, confident children. This parenting style is composed of four main elements—empathy, respect, understanding, and boundaries—and focuses on fostering the qualities you want in your child by being compassionate and enforcing consistent boundaries. Unlike some more lenient parenting methods, gentle parenting encourages age-appropriate discipline that teaches valuable life lessons.
A friend of mine actually pointed out to me a couple of months ago that I use this approach. Honestly, I had no idea. I always just try to do my best as a mom. I feel like a lot of us do that.
But in my parenting style, which I guess falls under "gentle parenting", I like to take a calm approach with my kids. Yes, even if they are throwing a tantrum.
I will raise my voice if needed. Like if they are about to do something dangerous or bad. But overall, I have always felt like there is no reason to yell if a child is already crying or screaming. You can be firm without yelling. Why add to the chaos?
Children are just young humans. "Big emotions, little bodies." I forgot now who said that, but I always agreed with it and kept that in mind.
As mentioned in the quote, empathy is definitely key. I like to approach the situation by trying to understand why the yelling or crying is going on. What triggered it? And finding a way to resolve it so things are okay again.
I feel like my kids have always coped well this way and been able to move on from the trouble they were having instead of lingering on their negative emotions. I definitely feel like they are overall calm and healthy kids for it. Active boys, yes. But calm overall.
I also believe in offering choices to my kids, instead of just dictating everything. Even to my one-year-old. And it doesn't even have to be about anything big. Just age-appropriate things. Something simple like red socks or blue socks? It may seem silly to some, but I think it offers them a feeling of confidence and happiness to be able to make a couple of their own decisions throughout the day.
Now I'm not saying this is the best method for everyone, and it has to be used by everyone. Not at all. Everyone is different- parents and kids. You know your child(ren) best, and what works and what doesn't. The important thing is that you find what works for you as a family.
Gentle parenting just seems to be something I naturally gravitated to and picked up on. And I'm happy about it. It seems to be working for us.
So I do hope "gentle parenting" is a term that will stay in my life for a long time. While it might not fit everyone's personality, I'm pleased with the results I'm getting so far with my kids.
Works Cited
Plant, Renee. "Benefits and Challenges of Gentle Parenting". Very Well Family. November 29, 2022. https://www.verywellfamily.com/what-is-gentle-parenting-5189566#:~:text=Gentle%20parenting%20is%20an%20evidence,compassionate%20and%20enforcing%20consistent%20boundaries
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