First, let's delve into the importance of sharing. This is an excerpt I found on the Australian parenting website "raisingchildren.net.au".
"Children need to learn to share so they can make and keep friends, play cooperatively, take turns, negotiate and cope with disappointment. Sharing teaches children about compromise and fairness. They learn that if we give a little to others, we can get some of what we want too."
I do believe all children should learn to share from very early on. Pretty much from the time they can start playing with their siblings or other toddlers. It's very easy to teach important manners and habits at this age because kids are like little sponges. And I do teach my kids to share. So far they are doing a very good job at it. But that doesn't mean they always have to.
I've taken them to public places many times and have heard other kids or even parents ask if they can share their toys with them. And most times they do. But there are occasions that they flat-out refuse.
It's moments like that I might encourage them to share. However, if I know it's a comfort toy that they are very much attached to, I won't push it.
The article I referenced also made note of the importance of separating an important toy that is special to the child. It shows your child that you respect them and acknowledge their feelings.
"Although it’s important to share, it’s OK for children to have some toys that they keep just for themselves. It’s a good idea to put away these special toys when other children come to play at your house. This can help you avoid problems with sharing. It also shows your child that you understand some things are precious to them."
Yes, sharing should be taught and encouraged for various reasons- making new friends, being polite. However, it should also be universally taught to accept a "no" when someone is not okay with letting something go.
"No means no," is a phrase that should carry weight and be esteemed in more than just one scenario. My kids are humans, too. They should show respect to others, but it should also be reciprocated. Just because someone asks, doesn't automatically mean my kids should be obliged to do something.
I know I wouldn't like it if I were out on my phone or reading a book, and someone asked to borrow it. Okay, there might be moments, like in an emergency, that someone might need to borrow my phone because their's has died or they forgot it. But in today's world, that seems extremely unlikely. So no, if you ask for my phone to play a game, I'm not going to share it- sorry.
So please respect the little ones we are raising. Encourage and show them that sharing is good, and a great way to make new friends. But also teach them to use their voice when needed so they can be heard, and their feelings regarded.
Works Cited
(2020, November 23). Children sharing and learning to share. Sharing and learning to share. https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/friends-siblings/sharing
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