Why am I experiencing "mom guilt" for my seemingly normal child?
All moms have feelings of guilt of various degrees for different reasons.
Some may feel it because they work, or because they don't. Some might experience it because of a schooling or childcare situation. And some might be going through it because they have a sick child- whether that be a short-term illness or a chronic disorder/disability.
Personally- it's all of the above, and then some for me.
But lately, one of the strongest "mom guilts" I've been experiencing is actually towards my (generally speaking) healthy child.
In other posts, I may have mentioned that two of my children have chronic conditions that have impacted them since birth, and will unfortunately impact them for the rest of their lives in different ways.
Of course, I have mom guilt about this. No parent wants to see their child struggle or go through medical emergencies. Especially with long-term conditions like autism and epilepsy.
Every day I catch myself holding my breath wondering if one's going to have a seizure and if the other is going to have an overall good day or have meltdowns and very difficult moments because of his autism,
I wouldn't change them at all. But it doesn't mean I don't wish it didn't befall them.
Now you may be asking, "Okay, how does this relate to the third child?"
Well, it's simply because he is, in all aspects, considered healthy. Other than the occasional cold, he's "normal".
I'm grateful! Of course, I'm happy at least one of my three sons isn't living with a chronic disorder, but with it, I've noticed guilt because of the lack of attention I sometimes feel he gets.
It's not like the others are wishing for attention when one is actively seizing or the other one needs additional help working through a sensory overload.
But sometimes I feel like the quantity and quality of attention he is getting versus the other two is lopsided.
This is why I have been experiencing "mom guilt" towards my youngest.
I do try to show him some extra love and one-on-one time if I ever find a moment. But man is it hard!
I try to spend some extra time with him when he wants to play with trains, read books, or even just curl up on the couch for Cocomelon. But sometimes it just doesn't feel like enough.
I guess all we can do is just keep trying our best. Keep trying to create generally happy moments to help offset the hard times.
If any other parents out there are going through this, I hope with my sharing, you realize you are not alone.
Make sure to breathe, and reach out if you ever need to. There are so many resources, communities, and various support groups out there.
I have a feeling there are a lot more of us experiencing this kind of situation than we know.
Comments