Being a mom is hard. Being a mom and trying to make new friends is even harder. As military spouses, we move a lot. And that means every few years I need to try and find new people in the area to associate with. We want friends to turn to. Especially when our loved one gets deployed.
Before I had my first baby, I noticed moms chatting away with other moms- around the neighborhood, the parks, the pool, the gym. I thought once I became a mom it wouldn’t be too difficult to make new friends. I mean, we have something in common- kids! However, sometimes that has proven more of a challenge than I thought. I didn’t give up though. I tried different things. Here are some things that worked for me.
Send Group Messages
I would send out group messages and invite fellow moms for a play-date at a park or a walk around the neighborhood. Sometimes meeting in a group felt more comfortable and relaxed in breaking the ice than one-on-one.
Plan Activities
If I knew others were into an activity I was interested in too, like the gym, I would invite them to join me for a workout. (Side note- join a gym with child-watch! They are a little more pricey but so worth it. You don’t need to hire a babysitter just to workout.) We are people too, with our likes and dislikes. That is why it’s important to learn what hobbies your new friends are into so you can try and do that activity together.
Plan a "Girl’s Night"
Sometimes we want to do things that aren’t always centered around our kids and that allows us to have adult conversations. If possible, try and coordinate a girl’s night. If mornings or middays work better, plan a brunch or lunch with the girls. This will allow you time to interact with other adults without a little one clinging to you or dragging your attention away all the time. You can unwind and catch up with everyone. It’s important to make time for you and your mental well-being. So don’t feel guilty for taking an hour or two for you!
Don’t Give Up!
In the end, I realized a lot of us get very busy with our day-to-day lives. Sometimes we don’t mean to miss a playdate or cancel an outing. And they are the same way too. However, that doesn’t mean they no longer want to hang out or be friends. Keep trying to invite each other out to things. Occasionally schedules will work with one another and you all will be able to meet up. So be persistent!
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