What is it? And How to Cope with It.
For years I had been fortunate enough to work from home. As a mom to little ones, it had its challenges, but overall was a perfect fit for us.
A couple of months ago, my husband began law school. With it, our primary income and benefits shifted. I am now the breadwinner of the family while he focuses on his studies.
Because of these changes, I have had to go back to an in-person job that offered more steady income and benefits- specifically great and affordable health insurance.
I have now found myself back in the healthcare field working in a support staff capacity. I absolutely love my job and have always enjoyed the hospital setting. But the hours are sooooo long.
The hours are truly the only con because being a mom to children ages 6 and under (two of them with special needs) it really pulls at the heartstrings being away from them all day. I know they are in great hands at the daycare we have selected for them, but it doesn't make the mom guilt go away.
Like many other moms, mom guilt is so real and relatable. Whether we are working or stay-at-home moms (SAHM), we always find some reason to beat ourselves up and feel guilty about something.
So what exactly is "mom guilt"?
According to healthline.com, mom guilt is
"...that pervasive feeling of not doing enough as a parent, not doing things right, or making decisions that may “mess up” your kids in the long run."
It honestly feels like an endless cycle of anxiety and depression that has been inadvertently mixed into parenting.
No matter what I do, it sometimes feels like it's never enough or that maybe I've made wrong decisions.
If you feel the same way, you may be living with mom guilt.
Now the question is, how do we cope with it?
The first thing to do is to look at who you surround yourself with. If you want to turn your thinking around and make it positive, then surround yourself with positive people.
You want people in your tribe that can help lift you up and encourage you to keep going even when things are tough. Because let's face it, life is hard enough without the constant reminders from Debbie-downers.
The next thing to remember is to trust your gut. Listen to your mom intuition and be your child's advocate. No one knows your child better than you!
Another piece of advice I would offer is to seek professional help if you have the slightest inkling that you may need it. Even if you don't think you need it, sometimes talking things out with a therapist or mental health expert can be very therapeutic and clarifying.
Most importantly- is to believe in yourself. Trust that you are on the path you are on because it is where you are supposed to be. Sometimes what's best for the kids and the household can be the hardest thing to take on- like long work hours.
As long as the kids are well cared for and loved, learn to let the guilt go.
Always remember you are doing the best you can with the cards you've been dealt.
Works Cited
Frost, Alexandra. "Why Mom (or Dad) Guilt Is a Thing- and What You Can Do to Stop Beating Yourself Up". March 31, 2020. https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/mom-guilt.
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