I’ve been a navy wife for almost eight years now. There have been those blissful moments of ceremonies and homecomings. But the active-duty spouse life is not all what Hollywood tries to portray on screen. A lot goes into leading up to those moments. There are the months apart for boot camp, schools, trainings, and of course deployments. I will say the separation doesn’t necessarily get easier as time goes on or the frequency increases. However, over the years I have found ways of coping and making it through those long days and nights.
The most important thing to remember is to KEEP BUSY! Day in and day out. Don’t be so busy you can’t skype or pick up the phone if your loved one gets a chance to contact you. Or don’t be so busy your head starts spinning because of your completely packed schedule. But make sure you’re busy enough that you wake up every day with a goal or task to complete. And if you have little ones at home, the same extends to them. Plan each day with things for everyone to do so the time passes at a reasonable rate.
For his longest deployment (about a year) I stayed busy by working full-time and going to school. If I had days off, I would go to the gym, beach, or movies. I always made It a point to leave the house each day. Even if it was just to run errands. That is super important! You don’t want to stay inside moping. Get out and clear your head, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
Once I was pregnant and had a baby, my daily itineraries shifted, but only slightly. I didn’t have school anymore, but I still worked. And when I wasn’t working, I was completely involved with my baby and running errands. We would also go for a daily walk, a trip to the library, the park, and/or lunch with friends.
Sometimes making friends in new locations or commands can prove challenging, but keep trying. Eventually you’ll find good ones. And it will be good to have them around for support when you need an ear to vent to, or someone to grab coffee with because you need another adult to talk to while your loved one is away.
I hope this article helped give you some ideas on how to cope with separation while your loved one is deployed. The main points to take away are to keep in contact with people, and always have an idea of what you are going to do each day so you can KEEP BUSY! Remember that time will eventually pass, and you and your loved one will be back together again. Goodbye isn’t always permanent. You got this!
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